Family Meals: Table or Freestyle

Chris and I grew up in very different households. Sure we were both raised Christians, but that is probably our only similarities. His household was full of boys, mine was full of girls. His family is more mild mannered and quiet. My family consider anything lower than a shout to be a whisper. The differences really come to life when it’s time for a meal. I grew up in a house that emphasized cuisine, but not traditional mealtime settings. Food was either left on the stove or set out on the counter and people came to  eat as they wanted too. So if I was doing homework I could finish it and eat. Or if someone wasn’t hungry yet they would hold of eating. Chris’ house had a traditional mealtime and sat around the table.

For years I felt guilty that we weren’t more traditional. I mean shouldn’t we be taking the time to sit down together and break bread as a family? Shouldn’t we share our day politely as we say “Yes, Please” and “Thank You”? What was wrong with us? So for a long time I just felt we weren’t normal.

But as I have aged my thoughts on this have changed drastically. Chris helped me see the benefit of how my family does mealtime. Take for example our cooking process. Either my father or I will declare that we are cooking. Then we will share what we think would be a good meal. Then the other person will chime in on what would be a great recipe. We will go back and forth…sometimes agreeing and sometimes not. But it is all part of the creative process. At some point the non-designated cook will come into the kitchen to object or applaud the technique, ingredients or aroma of the food. This will either annoy or enlighten the cook who will make adjustments accordingly. There is a scurried anticipation as everyone literally “gears up” for the culinary delight. Sometimes we won’t eat all day just so our palette can remain undefiled in preparation for the big Kahuna.

Once the meal is ready to serve the cook will most times take a stack of plates out and serve portions to the family. As they each get their plate applause and bravo are awarded to the cook. As each person takes their meal the cook looks on to see if their efforts really made a home run. Most times they do. Once the hoorays have concluded everyone is content to either sit at the table or wander off to their corner of the house. There isn’t much talking, sharing or much of anything other than the clanging of dishes. The food is the focus. Of course if we are at the table conversation will ensue once the first few bites are taken…we aren’t complete animals..lol. However, I have learned that an appreciation of culinary skill and gourmet ingredients is what makes our mealtimes special. It is after all how I learned to cook.

Chris has said that his appreciation for food and  broader pallette are thanks to my family and our love of food. There are so many things he had never eaten or experienced before we came into his life. Sure there are times he is the lone soldier sitting at the table eating his meal, but he doesn’t force us to do it with him even though it is what he is used too. But somehow we find that having him there makes us want to sit there with him. There may be hope for us yet as long as he is around.

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