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Wedding Shows: Spending Money and Being Dramatic
(Video Post)
(This was my first and only visit to a wedding dress store. I found the dress online a year before and God led me go and try it on (otherwise I was too scared to do it without His encouragement). I ended up wearing that dress for my wedding. BTW…Please excuse the hair and no makeup face…I was roughing it.)
While preparing for my nuptials last year I became, like most brides, wedding focused. Wedding magazines, blogs, pictures, videos and of course TV shows. These we’re my top shows in order:
- Platinum Weddings
- Say Yes to the Dress
- Rich Bride, Poor Bride
- Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?
- Bridezillas (my dad used to argue at the TV when this came on…he would get soooo mad! lol)
Sure they were giving me ideas that I could recreate, but they also taught me two unexpected bridal traits: 1) How to be dramatic and 2) How to spend money. Those are two things that men hate! Yet most brides have no problem starting their married lives together fully engaged in both to some varying degree.
It has taken me a while to admit this, but I sorta slipped into that mode. At the time when I began watching these shows I thought that most of that stuff was just harmless entertainment, but I soon discovered I was doing alot of damage..to myself! Growing up I never thought about weddings or my wedding day. Of course I wanted to get married, but it just wasn’t on my radar. I know this is sacrilegious for some women who have had their wedding colors picked out since they were 12 yrs old.
But Sorry that just wasn’t me. In fact I never thought about marrying any man until I met Chris. It’s true! I always knew in my heart that, no matter how great they were on paper, the men I dated were not who God really wanted me with. Once I knew Chris would be the one I began to get a little curious about the wedding process (this was long before he knew he was the one…lol!) It was not until we we’re formally engaged that it seemed like a trigger was pulled.
Overnight I want into full throttle engagement / wedding mode.
From dresses, to table seating…I was a wedding fanatic. The shows I watched didn’t help me any. In fact they encouraged me to transform into a “bride”. I started to see how these women would behave and the entitlement that was bestowed on them just because they were getting married. I honestly had no clue that people treated you this way because you we’re going to walk down the aisle. I think at some point my brain (unbeknown to me) began to think,
Hmmm….maybe I should start acting more like a bride.
Unlike the other women I never felt entitled…I just felt that everyone should understand if I got a little fussy or impatient…or cried about stupid things like the butterfly place cards. I mean,
Everyone should understand and tolerate me because I am getting married.
Not only that, but I was also entitled less cautious about spending money. While I am an extremely frugal person I found myself spending money on things that I never would have dared before. I hid receipts and even would get little ticked off if Chris reminded me of our budget. Sure I knew that I didn’t want to be some outrageous overspent Platinum Bride or an ill-mannered cry-baby Bridezilla, but I found myself slipping into those worlds.
My practical side would tell me,
Mel this is about your marriage to a wonderful godly man.
The next moment I would see a cake design and think
Hmmm…That’s probably only $2000. That’s not bad for a cake. If I don’t let the Bridal party eat then I could afford it. (I am so joking about that last part…lol.)
What happened to me? Where was I at? I didn’t want to get all wrapped up in bridal things like those other women, I was too smart and mature for that…so I thought.
While my wedding days are behind me (thank GOD!) and I am back to laughing at the dramatic brides I see…deep inside I know that I was on the edge of making my wedding experience one that I would regret. A wedding should be about coming together as a family, bringing the best out of each other, and preparing for a godly marriage.
Somehow all of that has gotten lost in today’s society. It’s all about being fabulous, dramatic decor, and partying. There is nothing wrong with those things, but I think they can be a recipe for a very disillusioned and unhappy marriage experience. When the cake is cut and the last guest exits the building there won’t be a bride or a groom anymore. It will be a man and a woman (and hopefully the Lord) who now have to learn to love and grow together in good times and in bad. It’s not fabulous, but if it is done the right way it can be beautiful.
Oh and by the way…I had a wonderful groom who tolerated my ups and downs and ultimately kept me grounded in the end.
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1 Response
That’s so cool that you were able to capture this moment on video. I also “found” my dress prior to getting engaged. I worked at a bridal shop and saw it in a catalog – I told myself that whenever I was to get married, I was going to wear that dress…and so I did!