Bribes and Creeping Make Our Marriage Work

As I have mentioned before, Chris and I have very different schedules. He goes to bed early and wakes up early. I go to bed late and wake up late. While we have grown accustomed to our different sleep patterns. I think I may actually be out of control. Let me explain.

Friday night I made our usual Sushi. About 10 minutes after dinner Chris crawled onto the couch and fell into his evening coma. I happily ran around the house doing whatever until he woke up around 9pm. We then watched a few shows together and he fell asleep again around 11pm. I decided to watch a few movies at this point and found three good ones (they we’re a bunch of the 90′s political mystery thrillers I love so much…like Murder at 1600). Anyways…between each movie I cleaned up a bit and loaded the dishwasher. While engrossed in my last movie I heard a loud beeping noise.

Oh no! The dishwasher is done!

I looked at the clock. It was 3:45. Yikes! I looked over at Chris. He seemed to still be in a deep slumber. I quietly crept out of bed and went to the kitchen. I put a few more things away and grabbed a snack. Then I went back to bed. Then I heard it again!

Oh no! I forgot to turn that stupid thing off!

If I didn’t turn it off it would keep beeping every ten minutes until I did. I looked at Chris again. He was still sleep. I slid out of bed, crouching tiger hidden wife style, and made a mad dash for the dishwasher. After calling it stupid and a couple other things – I had successfully turned it off. I got back into bed and proceeded with the end of my movie. Then out of the blue I had to go to the bathroom like no ones business. Maybe I can hold it…maybe not. Stupid bladder! I tip toed to the bathroom like a thief in the night – praising God the whole way that we don’t have creaky floors. It was then I realized,

Oh no! I have to turn the light on and flush the toilet.

I was terrified that the light and flush would wake Chris.

Why did I have to put a chandelier in the bathroom? Why, oh, why did I get the ultra-flush toilet?

Of course any other time these two items were high valued commodities – right now they we’re the target of my late night rage. After I did what I did – I got back in bed. As I slid into the covers Chris rolled over. (PAUSE)I began to look over the way they do in the scary movies – eyes bugged out and in slow motion.

Please be sleep! Please be sleep!

YES!!!!! He was still knocked out. Whew! I settled in to watch the rest of my movie, but then I looked at the clock. It was 4:15. Yikes! I wrestled with whether I should take a chance and continue watching , potentially waking Chris or should I just turn in. I decided it was time to call it a night. I felt good knowing that I had gone as long as I did without a peep out of the Mr.

Saturday morning I woke up in a daze around 10am. By this time Chris had been up for hours. Blindly walking around, I realized being awake was too traumatizing at the moment.  I got back into bed and called out,

I am sooo tired. I am going ot go back to bed.

Babe, that’s because you didn’t go to bed until 4:15am.

(I quickly opened my eyes!) Huh?

You we’re watching movies all night and didn’t get to bed until 4:15am.

(How in the world did he know that?) Well…um…

You went to bed an  1.5 hours before I got up.

What time did you get up?

6:15am. You got to start going to bed.

(Oh no!!!!!!!!)

I rolled over in dismay – caught red handed. All my creeping had been in vain. Somehow in between his snores he had intermittently woken up and looked at the clock, but he never said a word! Now I just felt guilty and silly. Chris came over to the bed and kissed my forehead. I was happy to see that my late night tryst didn’t cause any real problem. I looked up at him,

Hi.

Hi.

You missed me this morning?

Yeah.

(silence)

What time are you getting up?

In a minute…why?

I’m hungry.

Huh?

Can you make me breakfast?

So much for missing me…he was plotting! I realized at this point we were going to trade off. He was letting me get away with my 4:15am bedtime because he needed me to make him breakfast. I was making him breakfast because I needed him to let me go to bed when I wanted. Yes, folks, we had officially compromised. Sure I should go to bed earlier. Sure he should just make his own breakfast, but we are weird that way. We bribe each other and let one another get away with silly things. I guess that is what true marital compromise is anyway. Who knew we we’re doing it so well…lol!

What are some of your marriage compromises?

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